walang katapusan

noong una tayong nagkatagpo.. masaya.. inuman..
masaya ka, dahil natagpuan mo ako..
noong inuman, may binigay ka sakin, hanggang ngayo'y nandito pa rin..
nagulat ako, dahil hindi ko akalain na makakatagpo rin ako ng katulad mo
cool, astig, at higit sa lahat, game kahit saang bagay.

pauwi na, nasa bus tayo kasama ng kaibigan mo
magkahawak tayo ng kamay, walang pakialam sa mga tao
naging tayo rin noon, napagpasyahan natin
masayang masaya tayo.. parang wala nang katapusan ang mundo
magkausap pa rin hanggang sa paguwi, tawag at text doon at dito

sumunod na mga araw, nagkita tayo sa Galleria. date.
kumanta sa videoke..
natandaan ko noon, nakakanta ako nang hindi nahihiya.
pakiramdam ko kaya ko na lahat ng bagay sa mundo pag kasama ka.
pakiramdam ko'y ang lakas lakas ko, walang kahinaan pag kapiling ka

naulit ang mga panahong ganito tayo.. unang gabi nating hindi makakalimutan
noon ay minahal kita ng tunay, ng buong katapatan
hindi ko maipaliwanag, ngunit nahulog ako sa iyong ka-astigan
akala mo'y matutunaw sa simpleng tinginan
puso'y tumatalon sa aking kasiyahan

pansamantala kang umalis, umuwi sa probinsya ng isang buwan.
naalala ko noon, nasa SM, umiyak ka sa harap ng maraming tao
sabi mo'y panandalian lamang, wala akong magagawa sabi ko
kinailangang umuwi, kahit kalungkutan ang dala nito
ipinaubaya ko na sa Diyos ang pagmamahal ko.

Pangako mo'y tinupad, ikaw ay bumalik kasabay ng aking kaarawan
para sa akin, yaon ang pinakamagandang regalong natanggap
nag-abala ka, nagpagawa ng singsing, para sa ating dalawa
puso ko'y muling lumambot at dahil dito'y mas minahal kita
pakiramdam ko, alapaap yata'y naabot na

pinagpasyahan nating sa iisang bubong, tayo'y magsasama
kasayaha'y walang patid, walang pagdududa
ngunit ilang araw pa lamang ang nakakalipas, isang kahibangan
paalam mo'y iinom lamang, ngunit iba pala ang kahihinatnan
nakilala mo sa networking site, tinagpo mo at kayo'y nagkadaupan

aking natuklasan, at dahil dito mundo ko'y gumuho
pilit na tinatanong sa Diyos kung bakit nangyari ito
gayong inalay ko ang buong puso ko
hindi pa rin pala sapat ito para sa iyo
ako'y nasaktan, at pakiramdam ko'y nagunaw ang aking mundo

ngunit dahil mahal kita.. pinatawad, pinilit ibalik ang dati
kung ito ang kabayaran ng dating kasalanan, tinanggap ko ito
ngunit sabi nga nila, ang salamin pag nagkalamat na
kahit buuin ito, may lamat pa ring makikita
mula noon, palagiang nagiisip, kung iyon ba'y muli mong magagawa

ilang buwan ang nakalipas, ngayon, tayo'y magkasama pa rin
hindi na matatawaran ang ating pinagdaanan
pagdududa'y, naroon pa rin, ngunit dahil mahal ka
palaging tinatanggap, palaging nagpapakumbaba
dahil inamin mo ang iyong pagkakamali, at nangakong hindi na mauulit pa

Dati, hindi ka mapakali kapag hindi ako nagpaparamdam
kaya kahit may ginagawa, pilit na ipinagpapaalam
bawat sandali'y kailangang malaman
ngunit makalipas ang ilang buwan, parang wala nang pakialam
ang dating ikaw ay parang nagbago, pilit tinatanong, pilit inaalam

ganito ba talaga ang puso? ang pagmamahal? minsan ay nakakasawa?
sa aking puso'y naman hindi ko naramdaman na ako'y nag-iba
ngunit sa palagay mo ako'y naging maramot, mapagduda
masisisi mo ba ako sa nangyari sa ating dalawa
ngayon na tayo'y magkasama, ikaw ay parang nagsasawa?

ikaw ay umuwi, isang buwang pagtitiis nanaman
nagtatanong, nagiisip, kailan babalik ang aking mahal
nagtatanong kung babalik pa ba ang dating pagtitinginang
sabi mo'y walang problema, hindi kailangang pag-isipan
kailangang tanggapin ito, kailangang paniwalaan.

ikaw ay minamahal ko ng buong puso at kaluluwa
alam ko namang mahal mo rin ako, ngunit parang may nag-iba
dati, mas mahal mo ako, ngayon, mas mahal na kita
palaging may kulang, hindi magkatagpo sa gitna
panalangin sa Diyos, sana'y matupad pa

alam kong ito'y pansamantala lamang.. tayo'y magkakahiwalay din
ngunit habang tayong dalawa, sana'y ilaaan sa isa't isa
buong pagmamahal na walang pagdududa
ito lamang ang hinihiling sayo aking mahal
pagka't ang mawala ka'y hindi ko makakaya

basta ito ang aking alam, mahal kita! ito ang aking sigaw
saksi ang buong mundong palaging nanunuri at mapang-husga
walang nang makakapagpabago sa aking nararamdaman
buong buhay ay inaalay sayo, sana'y iyong malaman
mamahalin kita, ng walang katapusan

the love of my life

I still remember you watching me
over the window on the 5th floor of MTDC building
I was staring at you back then
I really never knew what to feel, having butterflies on my stomach, chills and sparks
running down my spine

that's the day i told you i liked you
and i wanted you to be mine, my girlfriend
you asked more time, getting-to-know each-other phase
i agreed, patiently waiting for you
you had feelings too, as i was told by your friends
and that made my college life worth it, or so i thought.

there you were, the love of my life, drunk after a party
the whole crowd watching, telling everybody that you're broken
your previous lover, who left you into pieces had another love
without warning, i was damaged, never to be repaired again
there you were, the love of my life, the woman of my dreams..
left me shattered, my soul broken

years passed, i thought i got over it
we met after 3 years, and rekindled my spirit
i was not ready yet, i told myself
i have to prove myself to her, to others, to everybody
i never got far, while she, she went ahead, she conquered everything.
while i, waited for her to return, waited for the opportunity.

she is now engaged. to an american christian.
she told me she's happy and blessed. what could i do.
she left me broken again, for the nth time this time..
wishing me to be happy, to do everything to find that special someone.
there goes the love of my life, the woman of my dreams..
i am still here, mourning. heartbroken forever.

bitin sa'yo

ano ba tong nararamdaman ko
sa twing kausap ka, ako'y nalilito
hindi makapagisip ng matino
isip at puso'y gulong gulo

d nman masisi kahit sino
sa pag-iisip ng kung anu-ano
pero bakit laging bitin ako
bitin na bitin palagi sayo

ako'y gulong gulo
tulungan mo naman ako

siguro'y mahal n nga kita
naiisip ka sa twina
bakit ganito ang nadarama
bitin palagi pag kasama ka
ngunit mas bitin pag hndi na

hndi nman sa nababaliw ako
ngunit di ko ito maitatago
nangingiti pag anjan ka na
naeexcite pag kausap ka

ako'y litong lito
pansinin mo naman ako

siguro'y mahal n nga kita
naiisip ka sa twina
bakit ganito ang nadarama
bitin palagi pag kasama ka
ngunit mas bitin pag hndi na

nabibitin kahit kasama na
ngunit mas bitin pag wala ka

clan outing

It's always a blast when you spend time with your loved ones back in the province. Especially during summer. Ours happened on April 13, 2008, at the El Grande Hotel and Resort in Lipa City Batangas, one of the only few resorts in the city.


I happen to have a shift on saturday, April 12. However, due to my constant rantings about it, they agreed to have it the next day. I was excited to show my newly acquired swimming skills. :D


I woke up after a 3 hour sleep, to head to the Bus station, in Buendia. After an almost 2 hour bus ride, i finally made it home, full of people, readying themselves for the upcoming clan reunion.


We unfortunately do not have a ride to use to go to the resort, but thankfully, my cousin had a Canter truck, so me and all my male cousins just crowded at the back of it.


A cousin who is working in London also came, and thankfully he had a mini van so the problem of transporting the bulk of my relatives are solved.


FOOD!


I have to mention my mother for preparing a very delicious feast for us. Green Mango with bagoong, tomatoes and onions, inihaw na bangus, chicken pork adobo, fettuccine, and other stuff that i was not able to touch because of my excitement for pool water. But what i liked the most was the green mango with bagoong, for i was craving for it for like 4 months.


In El Grande, there are four pools, one with the octopus slides above, two 6 foot pools, and a children's pool. There is a hotel and cottages available for use. The overall site was awesome, windy conditions even if the temperature was in mid-30's celsius.


ITO ANG BUHAY!


Showing off my swimming skills was one of the reasons why i was so excited about this outing. I spent some bucks just to learn it during the summer of 2005 and 2006, and if i have not gotten the chance to show it to my folks, then i spent the lessons for nothing. I also taught my other cousins the proper way to swim, from basics to advanced. What a day.


NEXT YEAR


We are planning to do this clan reunion every year, with more relatives, more fun and more food. I wish we could do it again this summer, for this experience is worth a repeat.

by the pod on the fourth

i saw you coming
and i can't help but stare
you came and asked but all i answered was ok
until when can i keep this
until when can i ask
until when will i hold back

i have to tell you
how much i care
how much i want to be with you
how much my heart screams for you
but all i can do now is stare
gaze into oblivion while thinking about you

when can i look into those eyes
all i can look at is a picture in my thoughts
of what those eyes might look like
of how those eyes express
but shaded by the night
i can only guess

i'll just be waiting for the right time
the right moment
the right words
until then, i'll continue on staring at you
thinking
will we ever be?

Liwanag

minsan, isang umaga akong nakatunganga
nakapangalumbaba at napapabuntung-hiningang iniisip ang kasasapitan ng buhay
mga bagay bagay na kailanman ay hindi maiwawaksing parang guni guning paulit ulit na binabagabag ang aking utak

hanggang kailan?
hanggang saan?
Hindi alam ang patutunguhan at hindi maisip kung saan ang pinanggalingan
sikat ng araw ay nasisilayan subalit puno ng maiitim na ulap ang natatanaw

saan ako makakakita ng liwanag?
sinong gigising sa aking natutulog na buhay?
anong kinabukasan ang iaalay ng tadhana sa akin?
mga tanong na walang kasagutan, mga sagot na walang kahihinatnan.

I Am Alive

I'd just like to welcome myself back on this blog world. Much has happened since i posted. It's been like.. almost 3 years.

I'd like to thank blogger for keeping my blog, and to my sanity for keeping my self and my mind intact for the past 2 and a half-years since i posted.

welcome back bonito!